This is a sports post, so all my non-sports friends, feel free to click out now.
Has anybody watched this NFL season so far? We are three weeks in, and I am pretty sure if there is one thing we can say for certain, it is that nobody had the slightest clue of anything coming into the season.
Let me start with the Bills, who I CALLED at the end of last season as a breakout team. Ryan Fitzpatrick looked incredible last year and I can say that I am thrilled that his success is continuing into 2011. A Harvard guy. Kicking the pants off of Tom Brady. Freakin awesome. Since my Dolphins are sucking like usual, I am tentatively jumping on the increasingly-crowded Bills bandwagon. Basically, I am for any team that makes sure the Patriots and Jets don't win.
Speaking of my Dolphins, ugh. That's really all I can say. Another year, another disappointment. This team, I honestly had high hopes for them coming into the season. What the hell has happened to this defense? Ranked 6th in the league last year, now they look like a bunch of second-teamers. I wrote on Phin Phanatic today that they are in desperate need of a coaching change, and I believe it should happen now. This season is basically a lost cause (less than 5% of teams that have started 0-3 have made the playoffs), so why not make the change now and let the new coach come in and access his personnel before the offseason starts. Please, Jeff Ireland, do something right.
Quick notes:
- Love what the Lions have done so far. If Stafford can stay healthy, this is a Super Bowl team, no doubt about it.
- What the hell Ravens? You kick the pants off the Steelers, somehow get beaten by the TITANS, and then destroy the Rams? Make a decision on the team you want to be, please.
- Speaking of the Rams, they were my Super Bowl sleeper pick this year. That's going well. Sam Bradford has regressed big time. They are injured. And the defense sucks. Oh well.
- Rex Grossman looks like a new man. I really hope the Redskins beat the Cowboys tonight and start the season 3-0. How's that for a big f you to Chicago?
- And on the topic of Chicago, did anybody that AWESOME trick play punt return at the end of the Packers game? I don't even care it was called back because of a non-existent penalty, that is the play of the year right there folks.
- Try not to cringe while watching this. Ouch. He was okay.
- Michael Vick. Have him in two fantasy leagues and so far, bleh. I knew this was a possibility when I drafted him, but it kind of sucks when it actually happens. His offensive line is worse than the one the Dolphins are putting out there on a weekly basis. He needs to get his act together, fast.
- How bout them Raiders? Pouncing all over the Jets, and I loved loved loved watching Darren McFadden run all over the critically-acclaimed Rex Ryan defense. I'll watch that any day.
- I will admit I was against Cam Newton coming into this season, and I definitely did not believe he was worthy of the number one pick. I know we are only three games in, but yes he definitely looks like the real deal. The Panthers are only 1-2, but I'm not sure you can blame Newton and his over 800 yards of passing for the two loses.
- Tom Brady is on pace for over 6,000 yards passing this season. The NFL record is 5,084 yards.
- Chris Johnson is on pace for a little over 500 yards rushing. Darren McFadden already has 400 yards rushing.
- I have no idea who is going to play in the Super Bowl, but how cool would it be to see a Bills-Lions Super Bowl?
Monday, September 26, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
September 11th, 2001
I have yet to post any status or tweet today referring to 9/11. I didn't feel it was appropriate. What can I say about something like that? I could say "never forget", but if you somehow forget about 9/11, then you are a scumbag and shouldn't live in this country in the first place.
10 years ago. Tough for me to imagine it has actually been that long. Even tougher for me to realize that 10 years later, we are still fighting for our freedom.
Everyone I know always says they remember that day and where they were and what it meant and their reactions when they heard the towers had been hit. I had a different reaction.
I do remember where I was when I found out. I was in middle school, in Mr. Gordon's class. I'm pretty sure we got called to the auditorium and they announced it, but I do not remember if they let us watch the coverage or not. I remember being at home and seeing my mother's reaction, and then I knew it was serious. Until that moment, I had no idea how serious.
Honestly, the first thought that went through my mind was "what is the World Trade Center?" I had no idea. I knew it was in New York, and that was about as much as I knew at the time. I didn't realize the gravity of the situation, and it didn't sink in for some time that actual human lives were lost.
I look back and wonder if that makes me a bad American. No, it doesn't. I was a 12-year-kid and a pretty ignorant 12-year-old at that. As with today, I was much more familiar with sports than I was with news and politics, so why would I know what the World Trade Center was?
However, the point of this post is not to look back at that day. I want to focus on today.
I can't remember the last time I cried. I can't even remember the last time a tear welled up in my eye. For some reason, I seem to be void of the ability to cry.
But while watching the Ground Zero dedication today, it happened. You don't realize how many people were affected by this horrible tragedy until you hear the names. Until you see the loved ones that lost a husband or wife, father or mother, son or daughter.
Then later, while watching opening day of the NFL season. Every field, a full-sized American flag was unveiled. On every NFL team, every player, every athlete walked up and put one or both hands on the flag, standing side-by-side with firefighters, police officers, and other heroes.
We sometimes put athletes on such a high pedestal, like they are of a different species than us. Watching those athletes stand next to those true heroes, it was so very clear that regardless of our position, our standing in this country, we all have one thing in common and that is that we are all Americans. And on a day like today, that is really the only thing that matters.
There is so much more I could say, like banishing Bud Selig from baseball for life for not allowing the Mets to wear FDNY and NYPD hats tonight because of some stupid regulation, but I'll keep my mouth shut on that.
I would like to address one more thing that caught my eye today. I normally don't really acknowledge facebook statuses, because it is somebody's own personal opinion and that's fine. But one caught my eye this morning that really pissed me off. I won't name names, but if you are reading this, you know who you are.
It said, "i think i'm going to unfriend everyone who i see post "never forget" or its variations today." My initial response was, are you kidding me? Some of these people that we are not forgetting are the ones who GAVE THEIR LIVES so you could continue to say whatever the hell you want online.
Now I have never had a problem with you before, but for a day like today you really need to think before you post. That may have just been some little thing, you trying to be funny or whatever, but I don't really think this is an occasion worth joking about.
So I will say it loud and proud...
9-11-01, NEVER FORGET.
10 years ago. Tough for me to imagine it has actually been that long. Even tougher for me to realize that 10 years later, we are still fighting for our freedom.
Everyone I know always says they remember that day and where they were and what it meant and their reactions when they heard the towers had been hit. I had a different reaction.
I do remember where I was when I found out. I was in middle school, in Mr. Gordon's class. I'm pretty sure we got called to the auditorium and they announced it, but I do not remember if they let us watch the coverage or not. I remember being at home and seeing my mother's reaction, and then I knew it was serious. Until that moment, I had no idea how serious.
Honestly, the first thought that went through my mind was "what is the World Trade Center?" I had no idea. I knew it was in New York, and that was about as much as I knew at the time. I didn't realize the gravity of the situation, and it didn't sink in for some time that actual human lives were lost.
I look back and wonder if that makes me a bad American. No, it doesn't. I was a 12-year-kid and a pretty ignorant 12-year-old at that. As with today, I was much more familiar with sports than I was with news and politics, so why would I know what the World Trade Center was?
However, the point of this post is not to look back at that day. I want to focus on today.
I can't remember the last time I cried. I can't even remember the last time a tear welled up in my eye. For some reason, I seem to be void of the ability to cry.
But while watching the Ground Zero dedication today, it happened. You don't realize how many people were affected by this horrible tragedy until you hear the names. Until you see the loved ones that lost a husband or wife, father or mother, son or daughter.
Then later, while watching opening day of the NFL season. Every field, a full-sized American flag was unveiled. On every NFL team, every player, every athlete walked up and put one or both hands on the flag, standing side-by-side with firefighters, police officers, and other heroes.
We sometimes put athletes on such a high pedestal, like they are of a different species than us. Watching those athletes stand next to those true heroes, it was so very clear that regardless of our position, our standing in this country, we all have one thing in common and that is that we are all Americans. And on a day like today, that is really the only thing that matters.
There is so much more I could say, like banishing Bud Selig from baseball for life for not allowing the Mets to wear FDNY and NYPD hats tonight because of some stupid regulation, but I'll keep my mouth shut on that.
I would like to address one more thing that caught my eye today. I normally don't really acknowledge facebook statuses, because it is somebody's own personal opinion and that's fine. But one caught my eye this morning that really pissed me off. I won't name names, but if you are reading this, you know who you are.
It said, "i think i'm going to unfriend everyone who i see post "never forget" or its variations today." My initial response was, are you kidding me? Some of these people that we are not forgetting are the ones who GAVE THEIR LIVES so you could continue to say whatever the hell you want online.
Now I have never had a problem with you before, but for a day like today you really need to think before you post. That may have just been some little thing, you trying to be funny or whatever, but I don't really think this is an occasion worth joking about.
So I will say it loud and proud...
9-11-01, NEVER FORGET.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
My New Life...
Things have changed a lot in the past few weeks. It kind of happened all at once...
Starting with the news from the last post that I think everyone already knows, I have a girlfriend. I'm dating Ilene, which is seems like many of the people who knew us are absolutely shocked by. For these people, I ask you to read my post about college/post college relationships. Yes, me and her had differences in college. She knows I wasn't a huge fan of who she was in school. But guess what? School is over. We are both starting our lives. And we have found that we love spending time together, and we get along very well. I am extremely happy to be with her and I hope it lasts for a long time.
I started my job at FOX on Monday as a voice captioner. Let me tell you, it is freakin difficult. Seriously, I don't think I have ever done anything so hard. I know I've only been there three days, but I'm already starting to doubt whether or not I can do it. Some people have the ability to do it and some don't. I'm worried that I don't. But I'm not one to give up, so I will keep trying until they fire me or I get it. Hopefully it's the latter.
Besides that, I'm just trying to get everything together. I keep forgetting that I'm actually here for school and that starts in a week. I'm honestly not looking forward to it. I'd still rather do the full-time job thing over going back to school, but what can I do? I'm committed.
To summarize, I'm happy. For once. Things still aren't where I want them but I feel like they are moving in the right direction, which is a huge step over the past year. Ilene, I want you to thank you for giving me a chance and I hope I don't let you down. <3
Song Currently Stuck in my Head:
Never Let You Down - The Verve Pipe
Starting with the news from the last post that I think everyone already knows, I have a girlfriend. I'm dating Ilene, which is seems like many of the people who knew us are absolutely shocked by. For these people, I ask you to read my post about college/post college relationships. Yes, me and her had differences in college. She knows I wasn't a huge fan of who she was in school. But guess what? School is over. We are both starting our lives. And we have found that we love spending time together, and we get along very well. I am extremely happy to be with her and I hope it lasts for a long time.
I started my job at FOX on Monday as a voice captioner. Let me tell you, it is freakin difficult. Seriously, I don't think I have ever done anything so hard. I know I've only been there three days, but I'm already starting to doubt whether or not I can do it. Some people have the ability to do it and some don't. I'm worried that I don't. But I'm not one to give up, so I will keep trying until they fire me or I get it. Hopefully it's the latter.
Besides that, I'm just trying to get everything together. I keep forgetting that I'm actually here for school and that starts in a week. I'm honestly not looking forward to it. I'd still rather do the full-time job thing over going back to school, but what can I do? I'm committed.
To summarize, I'm happy. For once. Things still aren't where I want them but I feel like they are moving in the right direction, which is a huge step over the past year. Ilene, I want you to thank you for giving me a chance and I hope I don't let you down. <3
Song Currently Stuck in my Head:
Never Let You Down - The Verve Pipe
Saturday, August 20, 2011
For My Friend Charlie....
I've never been that good at expressing feelings through talking. I've always done it through writing, and it has always made me feel a little better, so I'm going to see if that I apply that logic to help a friend in need.
An old friend of mine from school, Charlie, just lost his mother. I don't know the circumstances around it so I have no idea if she was suffering or not.
I remember the summer before Charlie came to Hartford, we were recruiting for STN and all I remember seeing was Charlie's name on every sign up sheet we had. I remember asking the d-board, "who the hell is this kid?" I was concerned we had a stalker. I was a bit wrong.
He joined the organization and was instantly a hit, basically because he had passion like nobody I had seen before and he was honestly talented. I was obligated in school to say every reporter we had was good, but let's be honest, they weren't. Charlie was. And he loved it. He worked hard, impressed us all, and was friendly. He joked around a lot, always had a smile on his face and was fun to be around.
He worked so hard that after only one year, he was elected News Director. And I honestly was really excited to come back and work with him. And naturally, after only a few weeks, Charlie got the unfortunate news that he couldn't stay at the school and had to leave.
I have one memory that sticks out in my mind, and that was his going away party, and how you could tell how many people liked him. At that party, EVERYONE from STN was there, people who, in a million years, wouldn't hang out together outside of the office, were all there to say goodbye to him. It was one of those things that stuck out in my mind.
Even after he was shipped down to Florida, he still kept in touch. When he came back to play a show or visit, he would always let everyone know so we could see him. OH, and of course, the night me and Ilene went to see Alex's roller derby bout, and Charlie and his friend Kevin were there. We ended up hanging out that night, driving around Morristown and getting pretty freakin lost. That was awesome. Sorry, sidetracked.
Anyway, I get sad because Charlie was plenty of depressing statuses and stuff and I just want something good to happen for him. I look around and see so many good things happening to people who don't deserve it, and to someone who truly does deserve it, nothing.
Charlie, I'm so sorry about your mother. Keep your head held high though buddy. You have been an excellent friend to everyone and I know you will be rewarded for it soon.
And if you need us, you know your STN family will always be there for you. Stay strong, my friend.
An old friend of mine from school, Charlie, just lost his mother. I don't know the circumstances around it so I have no idea if she was suffering or not.
I remember the summer before Charlie came to Hartford, we were recruiting for STN and all I remember seeing was Charlie's name on every sign up sheet we had. I remember asking the d-board, "who the hell is this kid?" I was concerned we had a stalker. I was a bit wrong.
He joined the organization and was instantly a hit, basically because he had passion like nobody I had seen before and he was honestly talented. I was obligated in school to say every reporter we had was good, but let's be honest, they weren't. Charlie was. And he loved it. He worked hard, impressed us all, and was friendly. He joked around a lot, always had a smile on his face and was fun to be around.
He worked so hard that after only one year, he was elected News Director. And I honestly was really excited to come back and work with him. And naturally, after only a few weeks, Charlie got the unfortunate news that he couldn't stay at the school and had to leave.
I have one memory that sticks out in my mind, and that was his going away party, and how you could tell how many people liked him. At that party, EVERYONE from STN was there, people who, in a million years, wouldn't hang out together outside of the office, were all there to say goodbye to him. It was one of those things that stuck out in my mind.
Even after he was shipped down to Florida, he still kept in touch. When he came back to play a show or visit, he would always let everyone know so we could see him. OH, and of course, the night me and Ilene went to see Alex's roller derby bout, and Charlie and his friend Kevin were there. We ended up hanging out that night, driving around Morristown and getting pretty freakin lost. That was awesome. Sorry, sidetracked.
Anyway, I get sad because Charlie was plenty of depressing statuses and stuff and I just want something good to happen for him. I look around and see so many good things happening to people who don't deserve it, and to someone who truly does deserve it, nothing.
Charlie, I'm so sorry about your mother. Keep your head held high though buddy. You have been an excellent friend to everyone and I know you will be rewarded for it soon.
And if you need us, you know your STN family will always be there for you. Stay strong, my friend.
College/Post College
This is directed at those of you who are either currently in a relationship or have experienced one during college and after.
This may be a bit delayed, but I've been delayed, so whatever.
When me and Beth broke up, she said to me that maybe we made for a good couple, but not a good real-life couple. At the time, I was so upset that I couldn't even process what she said and I just moved on from it. But recently, I've started thinking about it and realized that that was actually a pretty profound statement. It got me wondering, what is the difference between the two and can two people who were in love in college really just not work after college because of the change?
So what's the difference?
College
You live within minutes of each other, so you can see each other whenever, but you aren't obligated to see each other all the time
If one goes out, the other usually goes with
Both usually have the same friends, or close enough
Money isn't usually an issue
Neither is a job
Big life decisions, such as marriage and kids usually wait until after college
(I think I hit the fundamental flaw on the last three)
Post-College
If you are living together, you very rarely are able to get away from the person
Decisions such as money and who you are spending time with suddenly become joint decisions
Careers as well
And of course, life decisions such as marriage come into play
And that is partially where my relationship fell apart. Partially. And ever since Beth told me about this, I look at relationships in that light.
It's funny, because now I look at people in school who I never in a million years would've dated while they were in school and I see them differently because of who they turned into after school. Horrible college couple, maybe not a horrible after-college couple.
So I wonder if anybody else sees people that way, I'm interested. It's kind of a weird way to look at relationships. But I think it works.
Song Currently Stuck in my Head:
Closer to the Truth and Further from the Sky - Butch Walker
This may be a bit delayed, but I've been delayed, so whatever.
When me and Beth broke up, she said to me that maybe we made for a good couple, but not a good real-life couple. At the time, I was so upset that I couldn't even process what she said and I just moved on from it. But recently, I've started thinking about it and realized that that was actually a pretty profound statement. It got me wondering, what is the difference between the two and can two people who were in love in college really just not work after college because of the change?
So what's the difference?
College
You live within minutes of each other, so you can see each other whenever, but you aren't obligated to see each other all the time
If one goes out, the other usually goes with
Both usually have the same friends, or close enough
Money isn't usually an issue
Neither is a job
Big life decisions, such as marriage and kids usually wait until after college
(I think I hit the fundamental flaw on the last three)
Post-College
If you are living together, you very rarely are able to get away from the person
Decisions such as money and who you are spending time with suddenly become joint decisions
Careers as well
And of course, life decisions such as marriage come into play
And that is partially where my relationship fell apart. Partially. And ever since Beth told me about this, I look at relationships in that light.
It's funny, because now I look at people in school who I never in a million years would've dated while they were in school and I see them differently because of who they turned into after school. Horrible college couple, maybe not a horrible after-college couple.
So I wonder if anybody else sees people that way, I'm interested. It's kind of a weird way to look at relationships. But I think it works.
Song Currently Stuck in my Head:
Closer to the Truth and Further from the Sky - Butch Walker
Sunday, July 31, 2011
The Last Few Days...
So, for those of you not aware, my mother is in the hospital. On Thursday, she came home early from work with serious stomach pains and laid down. About two hours and a useless doctor consult later, she asked me to drive her to the emergency room. She went in for a CAT scan, and (for privacy reasons I won't tell you what she has) but she had a serious, yet not uncommon illness. The doctors told her to lay off any solid foods for a few days (plus some antibiotics) and she should be good to go. On Saturday, for breakfast and lunch the doctors gave her some solid food in the hospital and she kept it down alright, so she was released to us Saturday night with a strict diet.
We had dinner Saturday night at home and everything seemed to be okay. She was a little sore but she was still on meds and we all went to sleep last night thinking everything was back to normal.
At 9:15 this morning, I was woken up by my mother's voice telling me she was in severe pain again and Scott was driving her back to the hospital. I showed up a few minutes after they got there, and the rest of the day has been hell. At first, we thought she would definitely need surgery. After they did another CT scan in the ER, it sounded like she just needed a few days of a liquid diet (longer than last time), and she could be released again. After the surgeon came in and looked at her CT scan, now we have to wait 24-48 hours and if she doesn't improve, it looks like surgery again.
This isn't a life-threatening illness, but it is still scary as hell. My mother is one of the strongest people I know, and she doesn't complain about pain unless it is really bad. To have her end up in the hospital is something new to me. My mother is never sick. Now she may have to spend a week or more in the hospital. To say this is trying me would be a dramatic understatement.
It's even tougher because of the absence of my sister. She is in San Diego and obviously there is no way she can fly across the country to be here, even though I know how badly she wants to. My family uses humor to get through tough situations and Jamie is my go-to-girl for humor. Not having her here is difficult. I know it's worse on her. I love you Jamie, and just know that we know you would be here if you could and you are here in spirit. Stay strong.
I'm moving in 12 days and that has taken a complete backseat to this at the moment. I haven't really thought about packing up or finding a job. All I want is for my mother to be home and healthy.
It's tough to be alone right now. Outside of my sister, there is only one person who I wish was with me right now and she knows who she is. It sucks that the people I want to see are the people who I am incapable of seeing.
Stay strong Mom. I love you so much.
Please keep her in your thoughts.
Song Currently Stuck in my Head:
Awake My Soul- Mumford & Sons
R.I.P Kyle
We had dinner Saturday night at home and everything seemed to be okay. She was a little sore but she was still on meds and we all went to sleep last night thinking everything was back to normal.
At 9:15 this morning, I was woken up by my mother's voice telling me she was in severe pain again and Scott was driving her back to the hospital. I showed up a few minutes after they got there, and the rest of the day has been hell. At first, we thought she would definitely need surgery. After they did another CT scan in the ER, it sounded like she just needed a few days of a liquid diet (longer than last time), and she could be released again. After the surgeon came in and looked at her CT scan, now we have to wait 24-48 hours and if she doesn't improve, it looks like surgery again.
This isn't a life-threatening illness, but it is still scary as hell. My mother is one of the strongest people I know, and she doesn't complain about pain unless it is really bad. To have her end up in the hospital is something new to me. My mother is never sick. Now she may have to spend a week or more in the hospital. To say this is trying me would be a dramatic understatement.
It's even tougher because of the absence of my sister. She is in San Diego and obviously there is no way she can fly across the country to be here, even though I know how badly she wants to. My family uses humor to get through tough situations and Jamie is my go-to-girl for humor. Not having her here is difficult. I know it's worse on her. I love you Jamie, and just know that we know you would be here if you could and you are here in spirit. Stay strong.
I'm moving in 12 days and that has taken a complete backseat to this at the moment. I haven't really thought about packing up or finding a job. All I want is for my mother to be home and healthy.
It's tough to be alone right now. Outside of my sister, there is only one person who I wish was with me right now and she knows who she is. It sucks that the people I want to see are the people who I am incapable of seeing.
Stay strong Mom. I love you so much.
Please keep her in your thoughts.
Song Currently Stuck in my Head:
Awake My Soul- Mumford & Sons
R.I.P Kyle
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Casey Anthony
This will probably be an unpopular post, but I don't care.
The uproar surrounding Casey Anthony's not guilty verdict has gotten to the point where I have to say something.
She was found NOT guilty people. I love how as soon as the verdict comes out, every single person in the world apparently pulled out their law degree. We all are now top lawyers. "She was guilty! Look at all the evidence that one network I watched for an hour showed me as to why she was guilty! HOW could she be found innocent?"
Look, as Americans we give the jurors and the judges the power to make these decisions. We have to live with the decisions we get. I have no idea if Casey Anthony killed her daughter or not, but guess what? Neither do you. The only person who knows for sure is Casey Anthony. The jurors made the decision that she did not do it. So in my eyes, she did not do it. You have no right to say anything if she was found innocent.
I've been hearing that some of the jurors are actually receiving death threats. Seriously? America, grow up. What happened to "innocent until proven guilty"? Not in this trial. The second this woman stepped up to the stand, the media and public were convinced of her guilt. And you know what? You were proven wrong. I loved watching CNN with the one expert who KNEW she was going to be guilty based on how long deliberations went on, and then had to eat his words when the verdict came out. So much for being unbiased.
Unless you were in the courtroom, one of the jurors, or a lawyer working on this case, you do not know all evidence and you have no right to be making verdicts of your own. This was an impossible decision this jury had to make and I'm sure it took its tole on them.
I'm not saying we should feel sorry for this woman. She obviously is an idiot, a waste of life, lied to detectives at least four times and probably should be rotting in jail for the rest of her life. But she isn't. She will be released on July 13th and we all need to accept that. If you can't accept that, either go to law school, become a judge, or shut the hell up.
R.I.P Kyle. And Caylee.
The uproar surrounding Casey Anthony's not guilty verdict has gotten to the point where I have to say something.
She was found NOT guilty people. I love how as soon as the verdict comes out, every single person in the world apparently pulled out their law degree. We all are now top lawyers. "She was guilty! Look at all the evidence that one network I watched for an hour showed me as to why she was guilty! HOW could she be found innocent?"
Look, as Americans we give the jurors and the judges the power to make these decisions. We have to live with the decisions we get. I have no idea if Casey Anthony killed her daughter or not, but guess what? Neither do you. The only person who knows for sure is Casey Anthony. The jurors made the decision that she did not do it. So in my eyes, she did not do it. You have no right to say anything if she was found innocent.
I've been hearing that some of the jurors are actually receiving death threats. Seriously? America, grow up. What happened to "innocent until proven guilty"? Not in this trial. The second this woman stepped up to the stand, the media and public were convinced of her guilt. And you know what? You were proven wrong. I loved watching CNN with the one expert who KNEW she was going to be guilty based on how long deliberations went on, and then had to eat his words when the verdict came out. So much for being unbiased.
Unless you were in the courtroom, one of the jurors, or a lawyer working on this case, you do not know all evidence and you have no right to be making verdicts of your own. This was an impossible decision this jury had to make and I'm sure it took its tole on them.
I'm not saying we should feel sorry for this woman. She obviously is an idiot, a waste of life, lied to detectives at least four times and probably should be rotting in jail for the rest of her life. But she isn't. She will be released on July 13th and we all need to accept that. If you can't accept that, either go to law school, become a judge, or shut the hell up.
R.I.P Kyle. And Caylee.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
I'm still here...
It's been awhile since I have last written. I'm sitting on the couch on the top floor of the house down the shore by myself. We have this house because my stepdad was working on it and the guy who owns it gave us some time to use it in return for his services. Anyway, it's 11:30 on my birthday and I'm reflecting.
My sister is home. It's been great seeing her. She leaves for England next week for a month. I hope she has fun.
We went up to Quinnipiac on Thursday. Honestly, I've never had a more stressful trip. Part of was my own fault because I honestly just didn't want to go. My mother was stressing me out to no end and I just wanted to turn around, go home and go back to sleep. But we made it and I'm glad we did.
I met my advisor for the first time, a guy by the name of Richard Hanley. He has worked for Time Magazine among plenty of other things. I like him. He is extremely down-to-earth and doesn't set ridiculously unrealistic goals for anybody, including himself. He talks a lot, but I don't think that is a bad thing.
The best part of the trip was talking about jobs. My biggest concern about going to grad school was always that I'd graduate, and be back in the same spot I'm in now, where I can't find anything. The way he made it sound is that plenty of students actually get full-time jobs while still in school and QU is such a close-knit alumni group that a lot of them serve as contacts for each other. Regardless, I feel a lot better about being able to find a job either while I'm there or after. I feel more confident about my decision to go back.
It's been a very odd last couple of weeks. I can't really get into too many details, but I'm trying to put everything together. I'm not sure how I'm feeling. I'm confused, happy, sad, lonely, all at once.
I'm back in touch with Anna, which in my opinion is a good thing. She has always been there for me and we've gone back and forth for years. Beth hated her because of a couple stupid things she found between us, but now that she is out of the picture, I have no reason to not talk to her anymore. Things are good between us, and that makes me happy.
Ugh.
Random Compliment:
Anna- I'm glad we are back in touch. You know my problems with you in the past. I'm here to say that I absolutely love the person you have become. You've made some mistakes as we all have but I believe you learn from them better than anybody I know. You've been there for me now for 8 years and I wish I could've been there for you for 8 years. I will try harder now though, I promise.
Song currently stuck in my head:
Miss Hollywood- Carbon Leaf
R.I.P Kyle
My sister is home. It's been great seeing her. She leaves for England next week for a month. I hope she has fun.
We went up to Quinnipiac on Thursday. Honestly, I've never had a more stressful trip. Part of was my own fault because I honestly just didn't want to go. My mother was stressing me out to no end and I just wanted to turn around, go home and go back to sleep. But we made it and I'm glad we did.
I met my advisor for the first time, a guy by the name of Richard Hanley. He has worked for Time Magazine among plenty of other things. I like him. He is extremely down-to-earth and doesn't set ridiculously unrealistic goals for anybody, including himself. He talks a lot, but I don't think that is a bad thing.
The best part of the trip was talking about jobs. My biggest concern about going to grad school was always that I'd graduate, and be back in the same spot I'm in now, where I can't find anything. The way he made it sound is that plenty of students actually get full-time jobs while still in school and QU is such a close-knit alumni group that a lot of them serve as contacts for each other. Regardless, I feel a lot better about being able to find a job either while I'm there or after. I feel more confident about my decision to go back.
It's been a very odd last couple of weeks. I can't really get into too many details, but I'm trying to put everything together. I'm not sure how I'm feeling. I'm confused, happy, sad, lonely, all at once.
I'm back in touch with Anna, which in my opinion is a good thing. She has always been there for me and we've gone back and forth for years. Beth hated her because of a couple stupid things she found between us, but now that she is out of the picture, I have no reason to not talk to her anymore. Things are good between us, and that makes me happy.
Ugh.
Random Compliment:
Anna- I'm glad we are back in touch. You know my problems with you in the past. I'm here to say that I absolutely love the person you have become. You've made some mistakes as we all have but I believe you learn from them better than anybody I know. You've been there for me now for 8 years and I wish I could've been there for you for 8 years. I will try harder now though, I promise.
Song currently stuck in my head:
Miss Hollywood- Carbon Leaf
R.I.P Kyle
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Hiking?
Have I found my new love? Probably not. But in the past week and a half, I've gone to three different parks, three different trails, and honestly, it's been amazing. Ilene, if you are reading this and laughing silently in your mind, bite me.
But really, walking around those areas is so relaxing to me. I have enough issues going on right now. Sitting on a rock next to waterfall just kind of makes everything go away for like, an hour or so. Also helps to get my lazy ass in shape, which is desperately needed.
I really don't have much to write about. I haven't written in two weeks because honestly, there hasn't been much to say. Nothing has changed in my life. Certainly nothing has gotten any better.
I have been doing my best to spend more time with people, and have made a point to communicate more with people who I have lost or fallen out of contact with. Last Thursday, Ilene came home and we hung out. Honestly, it was one of the better experiences I've had in the past year. We didn't do anything overly special. We had lunch, went to a park in Boonton, spent something like three hours just sitting by a pond, talking, went to a carnival (which by the way is no where near as much fun as they are when you are 12), and hung out at her place for awhile. It was nice reconnecting with someone who I had thought I had lost. We made a point to talk more often, and I hope we stick with it.
On the point of her, she got a job! Technical producing in Springfield. I have been fighting my own jealously a bit on this one, but honestly I am so happy for her. This is a great step and a huge one, and I'm not sure there is anybody out there more deserving. Just make sure you kick ass while you are there. I know you will.
*Another shout out to Tyler, who also got a job working at a ...school?... I believe. Congrats Tyler!!!
Besides spending time with her, I have gotten closer to Michelle who is doing her best attempt at moving on. Hope it works out! I spent the day with Alex yesterday, who just recently got home for Australia. Ahh those stories, so jealous! It was awesome to see her again.
One person I've fallen pretty much out of contact with is Courtney. That one is really difficult, considering how close we were all of maybe a month ago. Some tough things have been happening to her and I just want you to know (if you are reading this) that I am always there for you. I know you know that. Miss you friend.
And that's it. It has been a difficult time for me. I am feeling lonely, and with all these people getting jobs and beginning their lives, it is even more difficult for me. But as I said above, I am extremely happy for you guys and the hard work you have put in makes you overly deserving of all the great things that happen to you.
Random Compliment:
Courtney - I can't remember if I have given you one of these already, but I feel like you may need it. Keep your head up. I can't say I am as familiar with what is going on with you as I have been in the past, but I know you are strong. That certainly hasn't changed. You are bright, you are funny, you are awesome. Keep smiling, keep trudging along. Eventually, you'll be rewarded.
Song Currently Stuck in my Head:
The Cave- Mumford & Sons
R.I.P. Kyle
But really, walking around those areas is so relaxing to me. I have enough issues going on right now. Sitting on a rock next to waterfall just kind of makes everything go away for like, an hour or so. Also helps to get my lazy ass in shape, which is desperately needed.
I really don't have much to write about. I haven't written in two weeks because honestly, there hasn't been much to say. Nothing has changed in my life. Certainly nothing has gotten any better.
I have been doing my best to spend more time with people, and have made a point to communicate more with people who I have lost or fallen out of contact with. Last Thursday, Ilene came home and we hung out. Honestly, it was one of the better experiences I've had in the past year. We didn't do anything overly special. We had lunch, went to a park in Boonton, spent something like three hours just sitting by a pond, talking, went to a carnival (which by the way is no where near as much fun as they are when you are 12), and hung out at her place for awhile. It was nice reconnecting with someone who I had thought I had lost. We made a point to talk more often, and I hope we stick with it.
On the point of her, she got a job! Technical producing in Springfield. I have been fighting my own jealously a bit on this one, but honestly I am so happy for her. This is a great step and a huge one, and I'm not sure there is anybody out there more deserving. Just make sure you kick ass while you are there. I know you will.
*Another shout out to Tyler, who also got a job working at a ...school?... I believe. Congrats Tyler!!!
Besides spending time with her, I have gotten closer to Michelle who is doing her best attempt at moving on. Hope it works out! I spent the day with Alex yesterday, who just recently got home for Australia. Ahh those stories, so jealous! It was awesome to see her again.
One person I've fallen pretty much out of contact with is Courtney. That one is really difficult, considering how close we were all of maybe a month ago. Some tough things have been happening to her and I just want you to know (if you are reading this) that I am always there for you. I know you know that. Miss you friend.
And that's it. It has been a difficult time for me. I am feeling lonely, and with all these people getting jobs and beginning their lives, it is even more difficult for me. But as I said above, I am extremely happy for you guys and the hard work you have put in makes you overly deserving of all the great things that happen to you.
Random Compliment:
Courtney - I can't remember if I have given you one of these already, but I feel like you may need it. Keep your head up. I can't say I am as familiar with what is going on with you as I have been in the past, but I know you are strong. That certainly hasn't changed. You are bright, you are funny, you are awesome. Keep smiling, keep trudging along. Eventually, you'll be rewarded.
Song Currently Stuck in my Head:
The Cave- Mumford & Sons
R.I.P. Kyle
Thursday, April 21, 2011
That one friend...
We all have that one friend....
Tonight, I saw that one friend. You know, that person who you don't speak to for about six months, then when you get together it's like nothing has changed. Yeah, that person.
Her name is Amanda. We were good friends in high school. She was probably my best friend in high school actually, but we didn't spend as much time together as we should have, and I missed out on a hint that may have changed our lives dramatically, but I'm kind of glad I missed it.
Anyway, that friend. The person who you may not always think about first about when asked about your friends. That person who has probably been in your life for awhile. You had a different group of friends. Probably didn't hang out with them TOO much. There was probably a point in your lives where you did spend a lot of time together. Then, something happened. You didn't get into a fight, you just....went your separate ways. One of you may have moved away, one of you may have gone to college, and you just sort of fell out of contact. You may talk here and there, send an occasional text, but certainly not talking every single day.
Then, one day, you see the person. May have been a few months, may have been over a year. But nothing changes. It's like you just saw them yesterday. You guys get back to talking about your lives, where you've been, where you want to go, but just for that one night, it's like you guys are best friends again. You leave, and everything reverts to normal. But here's the thing...
You know that if something happened to you, regardless of where that person was, they would be the FIRST person there. They would drop everything they needed to do to help you out. It doesn't matter if you talked with them the night before, or you didn't talk in a year. They would be there in a heartbeat.
I think that person may be the most important person in our lives. We might not realize it, but they are. How important is it to know that somebody is out there like that? I'm not talking about family, I'm not talking about a friend you spend your days with, I am talking about that person.
Think about it. I would bet my life savings (and that isn't much) that you have that person. The objective bystander, if you so choose to call it that. Another great quality about that person is they are truly objective. Most of the time, they aren't around or don't know your group of friends. If you are dying for an objective opinion, that is the perfect person to go to.
This is obviously my experience with Amanda. I'm not saying all of you have the same experience. And I'm sure some of you reading will say "I know my best friend, I see him/her every single day, I love them, etc." If you are saying that, please reread this, because that is not who I am talking about. It's great to have that person, but I believe that person is even more special.
Random Compliment:
Amanda (obviously)- I just want to thank you for having my back. We go through our long spells of not talking, not seeing each other (probably my fault), but you really have been amazing for me, for years now. I'm sorry so many awful things have happened to you and I wish I could've been there to support you through them. As I said tonight, you are a strong strong person. Think about all the positives you have going for you, because there are a lot of them. I hope to keep you in my life a long time. You have been awesome.
Think about taking a few minutes to tell your person the same. Thank them for everything they have done and let them know how special they are to you.
R.I.P. Kyle
Tonight, I saw that one friend. You know, that person who you don't speak to for about six months, then when you get together it's like nothing has changed. Yeah, that person.
Her name is Amanda. We were good friends in high school. She was probably my best friend in high school actually, but we didn't spend as much time together as we should have, and I missed out on a hint that may have changed our lives dramatically, but I'm kind of glad I missed it.
Anyway, that friend. The person who you may not always think about first about when asked about your friends. That person who has probably been in your life for awhile. You had a different group of friends. Probably didn't hang out with them TOO much. There was probably a point in your lives where you did spend a lot of time together. Then, something happened. You didn't get into a fight, you just....went your separate ways. One of you may have moved away, one of you may have gone to college, and you just sort of fell out of contact. You may talk here and there, send an occasional text, but certainly not talking every single day.
Then, one day, you see the person. May have been a few months, may have been over a year. But nothing changes. It's like you just saw them yesterday. You guys get back to talking about your lives, where you've been, where you want to go, but just for that one night, it's like you guys are best friends again. You leave, and everything reverts to normal. But here's the thing...
You know that if something happened to you, regardless of where that person was, they would be the FIRST person there. They would drop everything they needed to do to help you out. It doesn't matter if you talked with them the night before, or you didn't talk in a year. They would be there in a heartbeat.
I think that person may be the most important person in our lives. We might not realize it, but they are. How important is it to know that somebody is out there like that? I'm not talking about family, I'm not talking about a friend you spend your days with, I am talking about that person.
Think about it. I would bet my life savings (and that isn't much) that you have that person. The objective bystander, if you so choose to call it that. Another great quality about that person is they are truly objective. Most of the time, they aren't around or don't know your group of friends. If you are dying for an objective opinion, that is the perfect person to go to.
This is obviously my experience with Amanda. I'm not saying all of you have the same experience. And I'm sure some of you reading will say "I know my best friend, I see him/her every single day, I love them, etc." If you are saying that, please reread this, because that is not who I am talking about. It's great to have that person, but I believe that person is even more special.
Random Compliment:
Amanda (obviously)- I just want to thank you for having my back. We go through our long spells of not talking, not seeing each other (probably my fault), but you really have been amazing for me, for years now. I'm sorry so many awful things have happened to you and I wish I could've been there to support you through them. As I said tonight, you are a strong strong person. Think about all the positives you have going for you, because there are a lot of them. I hope to keep you in my life a long time. You have been awesome.
Think about taking a few minutes to tell your person the same. Thank them for everything they have done and let them know how special they are to you.
R.I.P. Kyle
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Back To My Roots
I originally started this blog to write mostly about sports, but for some reason it turned into posts about me. Not quite sure why. Tonight, I'm going to get back to my roots and I'll give some opinions about some different rhelms of sports.
Let's start with NASCAR. I'm not sure how many of you watched the Talladega race on Sunday, but if you didn't you missed one of the best, and cleanest finishes I have ever seen in a race.
Jimmie Johnson edged out Clint Bowyer by .002 seconds (tied for the closest finish in NASCAR history) to take the race. 88 lead changes during the 499 mile event. That doesn't count the lead changes that happen during a lap, just when they get back to the start-finish line. So, in 200 laps, 88 times there was a different leader than the lap before. That's pretty incredible.
There were enough subplots to this race to look at. Dale Earnhardt Jr. deciding not to try to break his 100-race winless streak and push Jimmie to victory, the lack of "the big one", Ryan Newman making two incredible saves, and of course, the difference in racing that we've ever seen in 'Dega. That would be the one to focus on.
Look, I don't care what drivers say, I don't care that attendance was down, watching that type of racing was exciting. Yeah, we don't have 33 cars within one second of each other, but watching cars trying to find partners was almost like watching the ugly kid trying to find a date for the prom. There was always somebody left out, and watching who ended up hooking up with who was interesting. What other race would you see Dave Blaney leading the second most amount of laps and being around near the end? What other race would you see 8 cars having a shot to win on the final lap? None. People say "So what? I have to sit through three hours of boringness to enjoy the final lap?" Uhh, yeah. How's that any different than watching three hours of an NBA game for the final two minutes? It's not. I love that type of racing, I hope it doesn't change.
Let's move onto the NFL. At 7pm, the NFL released its regular season schedule. Normally a time for fans to look to see if they get to watch their team and figure out who they have a shot in hell of beating, the 800 pound elephant in the room (aka lockout) has really put a damper on everything else. The Dolphins have the first MNF game of the year, which normally I'd be jumping for joy about, but instead the question in my mind is, will there even be a season?
It's taken the fun of the offseason. This would be a time to start complaining about the Dolphins not going for a certain player in free agency, but instead, nothing. I just finished my top 10 prospects on Phin Phanatic (check out the series, really, www.phinphanatic.com search: top 10 prospects) (...shameless plug for myself) and I've loved learning about all the prospects. It's been a learning experience for me, but the draft has a bit of damper on it by this stupid lockout. No trades on draft day, no nothing. Bleh. LET THEM PLAY.
And last and most certainly least, the New York Mets. This team is horrible. It's one thing for my parents to make me a Dolphins fan, but the worst thing you can ever do to a child is make them a Mets fan. A little part of me dies every time I have to admit I like this team. This year, a non-existent offense. A defense (more specifically, an outfield) that cannot play defense, and a pitching staff that is made up of minor leaguers. It's embarrassing and I honestly feel bad for Terry Collins for being stuck with that job. The one bright spot of this season is that I went in with no expectations. I knew this team would be horrible, so the fact that they are playing horrible doesn't make me feel any worse.
One thing I came across the other day was a video of David Wright playing catch with some young Atlanta Braves fans before a game. That made me happy. In the MLB and pretty much across all sports, athletes are seriously starting to gain a rep of being complete selfish assholes. In my cases, it's true. Lost in all the crap about how bad the Mets are is David Wright. He truly is one of the few remaining good guys.
The good thing about this season is that I have fantasy baseball to distract myself with. I'm currently playing Obi this week, and if I lose to him again I might cry, loudly.
That's pretty much it. Nice writing about sports for a change.
R.I.P Kyle
Let's start with NASCAR. I'm not sure how many of you watched the Talladega race on Sunday, but if you didn't you missed one of the best, and cleanest finishes I have ever seen in a race.
Jimmie Johnson edged out Clint Bowyer by .002 seconds (tied for the closest finish in NASCAR history) to take the race. 88 lead changes during the 499 mile event. That doesn't count the lead changes that happen during a lap, just when they get back to the start-finish line. So, in 200 laps, 88 times there was a different leader than the lap before. That's pretty incredible.
There were enough subplots to this race to look at. Dale Earnhardt Jr. deciding not to try to break his 100-race winless streak and push Jimmie to victory, the lack of "the big one", Ryan Newman making two incredible saves, and of course, the difference in racing that we've ever seen in 'Dega. That would be the one to focus on.
Look, I don't care what drivers say, I don't care that attendance was down, watching that type of racing was exciting. Yeah, we don't have 33 cars within one second of each other, but watching cars trying to find partners was almost like watching the ugly kid trying to find a date for the prom. There was always somebody left out, and watching who ended up hooking up with who was interesting. What other race would you see Dave Blaney leading the second most amount of laps and being around near the end? What other race would you see 8 cars having a shot to win on the final lap? None. People say "So what? I have to sit through three hours of boringness to enjoy the final lap?" Uhh, yeah. How's that any different than watching three hours of an NBA game for the final two minutes? It's not. I love that type of racing, I hope it doesn't change.
Let's move onto the NFL. At 7pm, the NFL released its regular season schedule. Normally a time for fans to look to see if they get to watch their team and figure out who they have a shot in hell of beating, the 800 pound elephant in the room (aka lockout) has really put a damper on everything else. The Dolphins have the first MNF game of the year, which normally I'd be jumping for joy about, but instead the question in my mind is, will there even be a season?
It's taken the fun of the offseason. This would be a time to start complaining about the Dolphins not going for a certain player in free agency, but instead, nothing. I just finished my top 10 prospects on Phin Phanatic (check out the series, really, www.phinphanatic.com search: top 10 prospects) (...shameless plug for myself) and I've loved learning about all the prospects. It's been a learning experience for me, but the draft has a bit of damper on it by this stupid lockout. No trades on draft day, no nothing. Bleh. LET THEM PLAY.
And last and most certainly least, the New York Mets. This team is horrible. It's one thing for my parents to make me a Dolphins fan, but the worst thing you can ever do to a child is make them a Mets fan. A little part of me dies every time I have to admit I like this team. This year, a non-existent offense. A defense (more specifically, an outfield) that cannot play defense, and a pitching staff that is made up of minor leaguers. It's embarrassing and I honestly feel bad for Terry Collins for being stuck with that job. The one bright spot of this season is that I went in with no expectations. I knew this team would be horrible, so the fact that they are playing horrible doesn't make me feel any worse.
One thing I came across the other day was a video of David Wright playing catch with some young Atlanta Braves fans before a game. That made me happy. In the MLB and pretty much across all sports, athletes are seriously starting to gain a rep of being complete selfish assholes. In my cases, it's true. Lost in all the crap about how bad the Mets are is David Wright. He truly is one of the few remaining good guys.
The good thing about this season is that I have fantasy baseball to distract myself with. I'm currently playing Obi this week, and if I lose to him again I might cry, loudly.
That's pretty much it. Nice writing about sports for a change.
R.I.P Kyle
Friday, April 15, 2011
Is that what friends are for?
It's early in the morning. My mind has been racing all night. I need to write.
The concept of having a best friend is something of a foreign concept to me. Throughout my life, I've had good friends, I've had girlfriends, but never really a best friend. Sure, there is one guy who I've known for a long time, somebody who I'll usually hang out with if he is around, but would I consider us best friends? Probably not. We barely talk if we aren't together.
That fact hasn't changed. However, I've been forced to observe a friendship recently that has made me question if I ever actually want a best friend.
Let me pose a question. Does a best friend have carte blanche on the other person? What I mean by that is simple. Is a best friend supposed to control the other friends life? It would make sense that they would expect to spend the most time with each other. They are the best friends, they should spend the most time together. But does a best friend have a right to get upset when the other spends time with other people?
The answer to that is even simpler than the question. No. When that starts happening, the best friends have turned lovers (minus the sex, in most cases). That shouldn't be the case. That should NEVER be the case. The best friend is more than welcome to give advice about the people, to question why they are friends, but they have no right to make the other person feel like crap to have other friends.
Here's the deal. Friendship (like anything else in this world) is a two-way street. There has to be some give-and-take involved. Friendships die when one person tries to take control. When it stops being fun. They have those great memories from past days, before things got complicated. Sometimes, those memories can make a friendship last a few extra months, possibly more.
This leads to one or both being very unsatisfied. I beg people to take a look back at their own friendships. If you see this happening, stop it now. If it happening with the other person, TALK to them. If they are really your best friend, they will listen and they will attempt to understand. Somebody who won't listen, who can't handle even the smallest bit of criticism from their best friend, is not a best friend. Plain and simple.
This is not directed at any one person. If you are arrogant enough to think I am writing specifically about you, too bad. I see this happening around me all the time and it is always difficult to watch.
Do I want a best friend?
P.S. Happy Spring Fling to everyone at Hartford. Wish I could be there too.
Random Compliment:
Michelle- You know you are a good person when the worst thing somebody can say about you is that you are too nice. I pray that you are able to get out from where you are right now, because you can do some great things in this world. Don't get pigeon-holed. Follow your dreams and don't let anything (or anyone) get in the way of them. You will be happy one day, I promise.
R.I.P Kyle
The concept of having a best friend is something of a foreign concept to me. Throughout my life, I've had good friends, I've had girlfriends, but never really a best friend. Sure, there is one guy who I've known for a long time, somebody who I'll usually hang out with if he is around, but would I consider us best friends? Probably not. We barely talk if we aren't together.
That fact hasn't changed. However, I've been forced to observe a friendship recently that has made me question if I ever actually want a best friend.
Let me pose a question. Does a best friend have carte blanche on the other person? What I mean by that is simple. Is a best friend supposed to control the other friends life? It would make sense that they would expect to spend the most time with each other. They are the best friends, they should spend the most time together. But does a best friend have a right to get upset when the other spends time with other people?
The answer to that is even simpler than the question. No. When that starts happening, the best friends have turned lovers (minus the sex, in most cases). That shouldn't be the case. That should NEVER be the case. The best friend is more than welcome to give advice about the people, to question why they are friends, but they have no right to make the other person feel like crap to have other friends.
Here's the deal. Friendship (like anything else in this world) is a two-way street. There has to be some give-and-take involved. Friendships die when one person tries to take control. When it stops being fun. They have those great memories from past days, before things got complicated. Sometimes, those memories can make a friendship last a few extra months, possibly more.
This leads to one or both being very unsatisfied. I beg people to take a look back at their own friendships. If you see this happening, stop it now. If it happening with the other person, TALK to them. If they are really your best friend, they will listen and they will attempt to understand. Somebody who won't listen, who can't handle even the smallest bit of criticism from their best friend, is not a best friend. Plain and simple.
This is not directed at any one person. If you are arrogant enough to think I am writing specifically about you, too bad. I see this happening around me all the time and it is always difficult to watch.
Do I want a best friend?
P.S. Happy Spring Fling to everyone at Hartford. Wish I could be there too.
Random Compliment:
Michelle- You know you are a good person when the worst thing somebody can say about you is that you are too nice. I pray that you are able to get out from where you are right now, because you can do some great things in this world. Don't get pigeon-holed. Follow your dreams and don't let anything (or anyone) get in the way of them. You will be happy one day, I promise.
R.I.P Kyle
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Shock and Awe
I just returned home from paying my final respects to Kyle.
I could not be in more shock from what I saw. The amount of people that came out to say goodbye to him was a spectacle unlike any other. The wait to get inside on a cold and windy day was upwards of two hours, yet people came out and stood there. Why? To say goodbye and thank you to a person who touched the hearts and lives of so many others.
I mentioned in previous posts about Kyle's contribution to STN. But he was so much more than just STN. Kyle was a resident assistant for three a half years, he was on the Village Community Council, and if that wasn't enough, he was a volunteer firefighter. He didn't drink or do drugs, he didn't smoke, he just helped every person that came to him and even those who didn't.
I pray that Kyle was somehow able to see the outpouring of support for him today. The amount of people and the diversity of them was staggering. He touched so many people from some many different places. I may search for the rest of my life and never find anybody who measured up to what he did.
When we were talking today, the topic that kept coming up was "why did he do it?" That would be the standard question to ask, and it's something I have wondered, but I think it's unfair to his memory to dwell on that. Instead of questioning his death, we should be celebrating his life. In such a short time, he did so much for so many people.
I wish I would've spent longer inside the parlor. I ended up getting there early and I was in and out within 10 minutes. I should've sat down. I should've honored his life longer. I wish I did. I was nervous, I was feeling uneasy and I didn't want to cry. I wish I did. I feel like I let you down Kyle, and I'm sorry. You were always there for me and I wasn't there long enough for you.
I said in my last post that we should give people compliments more often, so I'm going to attempt to compliment someone in every post. I won't know if they read it, but I hope they do.
Random Compliment:
Suzie: Me and you I don't think have ever truly seen eye-to-eye. We are different people, we always will be. But you have such a talent. What that talent is? Seems to be whatever you try. You were an amazing reporter, you are an amazing photographer and when you were doing shooting and editing, you were amazing at that too. I hope you are able to pick something you truly love and go with it, make a career out of it and become the best at all. I know you have it in you.
I hope Kyle is finally able to rest now. I hope he was able to see just how many people loved him.
R.I.P. Kyle
I could not be in more shock from what I saw. The amount of people that came out to say goodbye to him was a spectacle unlike any other. The wait to get inside on a cold and windy day was upwards of two hours, yet people came out and stood there. Why? To say goodbye and thank you to a person who touched the hearts and lives of so many others.
I mentioned in previous posts about Kyle's contribution to STN. But he was so much more than just STN. Kyle was a resident assistant for three a half years, he was on the Village Community Council, and if that wasn't enough, he was a volunteer firefighter. He didn't drink or do drugs, he didn't smoke, he just helped every person that came to him and even those who didn't.
I pray that Kyle was somehow able to see the outpouring of support for him today. The amount of people and the diversity of them was staggering. He touched so many people from some many different places. I may search for the rest of my life and never find anybody who measured up to what he did.
When we were talking today, the topic that kept coming up was "why did he do it?" That would be the standard question to ask, and it's something I have wondered, but I think it's unfair to his memory to dwell on that. Instead of questioning his death, we should be celebrating his life. In such a short time, he did so much for so many people.
I wish I would've spent longer inside the parlor. I ended up getting there early and I was in and out within 10 minutes. I should've sat down. I should've honored his life longer. I wish I did. I was nervous, I was feeling uneasy and I didn't want to cry. I wish I did. I feel like I let you down Kyle, and I'm sorry. You were always there for me and I wasn't there long enough for you.
I said in my last post that we should give people compliments more often, so I'm going to attempt to compliment someone in every post. I won't know if they read it, but I hope they do.
Random Compliment:
Suzie: Me and you I don't think have ever truly seen eye-to-eye. We are different people, we always will be. But you have such a talent. What that talent is? Seems to be whatever you try. You were an amazing reporter, you are an amazing photographer and when you were doing shooting and editing, you were amazing at that too. I hope you are able to pick something you truly love and go with it, make a career out of it and become the best at all. I know you have it in you.
I hope Kyle is finally able to rest now. I hope he was able to see just how many people loved him.
R.I.P. Kyle
Friday, April 8, 2011
Give someone a compliment...
I couldn't sleep last night. I kept tossing and turning, thinking to myself how could this have possibly been avoided? I don't know the circumstances behind why Kyle did it, and I won't pretend that I had spoken to him enough recently to have a clue.
When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was open up facebook and check his page. The compliments rolling in on his page are endless. "You were taken too early, you were too damn talented, you had such much potential, such a great kid and great friend". My blog post about him alone had over 150 views. For my previous 20 posts, I had barely 400. Makes me wonder, where were all these people when he was alive? Where was I, when he was alive.
You have to imagine that if he knew that all these people cared about him so, if he heard people tell him kind words once in awhile, maybe, just maybe this could've been avoided.
I'm asking everyone who reads this to do somethingfor me. for Kyle.
Give somebody a compliment. Make a point to do it once a day. And I'm not talking about your best friend, who you walk up behind on a path and say "damn girl, your hair looks good today". I'm talking about someone who you care about, but may not speak to that often. I don't care how you do it. You can send it in a message on FB if you are too nervous to do it in person. You can write it down, you can post it somewhere, just make sure they hear it. Whether or not it makes you feel better, it may make them feel better. The thought may go through their mind that "oh, somebody really does care about me, really does think that I do something well". And it might make that person's day just a little bit better.
Let me start, as I have two compliments to send out to people I used to be close to and have fallen away from:
Ilene: You are a great director. Really. I wish I would've told you that more often while I was at school, but I was being petty and didn't like the fact that you beat me in that election. For some reason, the thought of you becoming better than me didn't sit well. Why? I guess I was just immature. But there wasn't a day that went by where I wasn't proud of you. I remember how excited I was for you after the first show you finished. Keep with it. I may have taken another path but I know you are strong enough to persevere and become successful. You have a great future ahead of you. Good luck finding a job and just remember that I will be thinking about you.
Matt: Boy have we had some serious issues. I can't say I ever fully understood our friendship. One day we would be the best of friends, the next day, nothing. It was odd, to say the least. But the thing I have always admired about you is your ambition. No matter how much crap I gave you for being up all hours of the night doing whatever, you always fulfilled your obligations, and you always wanted to better yourself. You worked to get the top seat in STN, then switched over to SGA and was on the board, you worked with PRSSA, and now you work at the Hartford. You always strive to get to the next level. I'm happy that someone from our graduating class was able to find a job, and happy it could be you. You'll always be my first beer pong partner. I hope you are enjoying life as much now as you were in school.
See? Not that difficult. As humans, we have a tendency to only focus on the negative. If someone is doing something wrong, they will hear about it. Unfortunately, if someone is doing something right, they usually don't hear about it. This post is asking you to change that, if only for 10 minutes a day. Tell someone when they are doing something right. Put a smile on their face. It doesn't matter if it cheers you up, as long as it cheers them up.
R.I.P. Kyle.
When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was open up facebook and check his page. The compliments rolling in on his page are endless. "You were taken too early, you were too damn talented, you had such much potential, such a great kid and great friend". My blog post about him alone had over 150 views. For my previous 20 posts, I had barely 400. Makes me wonder, where were all these people when he was alive? Where was I, when he was alive.
You have to imagine that if he knew that all these people cared about him so, if he heard people tell him kind words once in awhile, maybe, just maybe this could've been avoided.
I'm asking everyone who reads this to do something
Give somebody a compliment. Make a point to do it once a day. And I'm not talking about your best friend, who you walk up behind on a path and say "damn girl, your hair looks good today". I'm talking about someone who you care about, but may not speak to that often. I don't care how you do it. You can send it in a message on FB if you are too nervous to do it in person. You can write it down, you can post it somewhere, just make sure they hear it. Whether or not it makes you feel better, it may make them feel better. The thought may go through their mind that "oh, somebody really does care about me, really does think that I do something well". And it might make that person's day just a little bit better.
Let me start, as I have two compliments to send out to people I used to be close to and have fallen away from:
Ilene: You are a great director. Really. I wish I would've told you that more often while I was at school, but I was being petty and didn't like the fact that you beat me in that election. For some reason, the thought of you becoming better than me didn't sit well. Why? I guess I was just immature. But there wasn't a day that went by where I wasn't proud of you. I remember how excited I was for you after the first show you finished. Keep with it. I may have taken another path but I know you are strong enough to persevere and become successful. You have a great future ahead of you. Good luck finding a job and just remember that I will be thinking about you.
Matt: Boy have we had some serious issues. I can't say I ever fully understood our friendship. One day we would be the best of friends, the next day, nothing. It was odd, to say the least. But the thing I have always admired about you is your ambition. No matter how much crap I gave you for being up all hours of the night doing whatever, you always fulfilled your obligations, and you always wanted to better yourself. You worked to get the top seat in STN, then switched over to SGA and was on the board, you worked with PRSSA, and now you work at the Hartford. You always strive to get to the next level. I'm happy that someone from our graduating class was able to find a job, and happy it could be you. You'll always be my first beer pong partner. I hope you are enjoying life as much now as you were in school.
See? Not that difficult. As humans, we have a tendency to only focus on the negative. If someone is doing something wrong, they will hear about it. Unfortunately, if someone is doing something right, they usually don't hear about it. This post is asking you to change that, if only for 10 minutes a day. Tell someone when they are doing something right. Put a smile on their face. It doesn't matter if it cheers you up, as long as it cheers them up.
R.I.P. Kyle.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
R.I.P. Kyle
I'm not sure I should be writing this yet. I haven't had enough time to really process anything. I feel numb, and I feel in shock.
Honestly, I'm just trying to understand. I know people, to this day, who (while sad) I wouldn't be surprised to find out if they did this. Kyle was not one of those people.
This one is getting to me worse than I would've ever imagined. Me and him were friends, don't get me wrong, but we maybe had spoken twice since graduation. So why is this getting to me so much?
He had SO much potential. So much. I never met somebody who caught onto things, who understood the world and what he wanted to do as much as Kyle. I easily saw him running a television station in about five or ten years. No question about it. He was the definition of a down-to-earth kind of guy.
I felt so bad for him. During his time as GM of STN, he did so much. He tried so hard. His goal was always for the betterment of the organization. He never seemed to have any type of ulterior motive, any selfish reasoning. Yet, people were always questioning him, always giving him crap for who knows what reasons? Because he didn't quite fit in with the rest of us? Because he sat in the corner and wore his headphones so he could get his work done? Because he talked too much? I never understood why so many people had so many problems with him. He was really was a great guy.
I do not dis-include myself from this. Me and him fought. I disagreed with some of his decisions, and I made it known. But we talked. A lot. He would vent to me about his issues with the organization, and I remember on more than a few occasions just sitting in the engineering room in the studio talking, or sitting in the office at night, talking. Honestly, I missed it when I left. He was one of a very few objective observers that I could talk to about anything I wanted.
I'll never forget, the end of my freshman year, STN's GM and Chief Engineer Kevin Callahan. It was during elections, we all knew Kyle was going to win. Kevin got up and (I don't remember the quote 100%) but it was something along the lines of "I'm glad I'm graduating now, because this kid is about to surpass me in knowledge", something like that. From a senior to a freshman engineer, that is about the best compliment you can receive. And it was true. He had such a knack for what he loved. He was amazing at it. I could ask him any question and get a 20 minute rambling answer about it, but he always knew what he was talking about. And you know what? That 20 minute rambling answer was his way of making sure he explained it the best way he knew. It meant a lot to him to make sure your question was fully answered.
I remember this summer. We hadn't spoken for a few months, and I believed I IM'ed him (might've been the other way around) because I was depressed about not being able to find a job and I thought he could help. We talked, for about a half hour, just BS'ed about how things were going, and it really helped. I only talked to him online a few times, and I honestly I wish I could've done it more. He had a way to make you feel better if you really needed it, without even trying.
Please people, don't just brush this off. Take it to help yourself. Brendan, if you are reading this, I saw you put in your status earlier when you found out that the last contact you had with him was an argument about a suspension. I hope all of you (including myself) can maybe find a way to drop the little things. So many of us hold stupid little grudges about the tiniest little things. Find a way to forgive. You never know when something horrible like this could happen, and you don't want the last thing you said to a person to be the worst thing you've said.
Kyle obviously had some serious demons. I won't pretend to know why he did this. But I can be sure he is not the only person out there who feels like it. If anybody has ever wondered why I push people to get help, to talk about their problems, it's because this is usually the alternative. Demons always win. Please be there for anybody you can. Please try to help them, don't make it worse. I urge anybody with demons to get help. It doesn't have to be with a therapist, it can be with a friend. Talk to someone. Get it out there. Nobody should have to suffer alone.
*Edit: I'd like to make a point to make sure people remember this. When bad things happen, it changes people, for about three days. Then you forget about it, and move on. That shouldn't be the case. I'm not saying we should be depressed forever, as I know Kyle wouldn't want that, but we should not just brush it aside. Make a point to be there for whoever you can be.
This is going to be tough to get over. Kyle, you were a great person and a better friend. If you believe in it, I hope you are sitting in heaven, talking God's ear off. I can't thank you enough for everything you did. Not just for me, but for everyone, for STN, for FOX, and everyone you touched down here. You had such a bright future. I am going to miss you man, very much. You taught me about television, and so much more. Rest in peace, buddy.
Honestly, I'm just trying to understand. I know people, to this day, who (while sad) I wouldn't be surprised to find out if they did this. Kyle was not one of those people.
This one is getting to me worse than I would've ever imagined. Me and him were friends, don't get me wrong, but we maybe had spoken twice since graduation. So why is this getting to me so much?
He had SO much potential. So much. I never met somebody who caught onto things, who understood the world and what he wanted to do as much as Kyle. I easily saw him running a television station in about five or ten years. No question about it. He was the definition of a down-to-earth kind of guy.
I felt so bad for him. During his time as GM of STN, he did so much. He tried so hard. His goal was always for the betterment of the organization. He never seemed to have any type of ulterior motive, any selfish reasoning. Yet, people were always questioning him, always giving him crap for who knows what reasons? Because he didn't quite fit in with the rest of us? Because he sat in the corner and wore his headphones so he could get his work done? Because he talked too much? I never understood why so many people had so many problems with him. He was really was a great guy.
I do not dis-include myself from this. Me and him fought. I disagreed with some of his decisions, and I made it known. But we talked. A lot. He would vent to me about his issues with the organization, and I remember on more than a few occasions just sitting in the engineering room in the studio talking, or sitting in the office at night, talking. Honestly, I missed it when I left. He was one of a very few objective observers that I could talk to about anything I wanted.
I'll never forget, the end of my freshman year, STN's GM and Chief Engineer Kevin Callahan. It was during elections, we all knew Kyle was going to win. Kevin got up and (I don't remember the quote 100%) but it was something along the lines of "I'm glad I'm graduating now, because this kid is about to surpass me in knowledge", something like that. From a senior to a freshman engineer, that is about the best compliment you can receive. And it was true. He had such a knack for what he loved. He was amazing at it. I could ask him any question and get a 20 minute rambling answer about it, but he always knew what he was talking about. And you know what? That 20 minute rambling answer was his way of making sure he explained it the best way he knew. It meant a lot to him to make sure your question was fully answered.
I remember this summer. We hadn't spoken for a few months, and I believed I IM'ed him (might've been the other way around) because I was depressed about not being able to find a job and I thought he could help. We talked, for about a half hour, just BS'ed about how things were going, and it really helped. I only talked to him online a few times, and I honestly I wish I could've done it more. He had a way to make you feel better if you really needed it, without even trying.
Please people, don't just brush this off. Take it to help yourself. Brendan, if you are reading this, I saw you put in your status earlier when you found out that the last contact you had with him was an argument about a suspension. I hope all of you (including myself) can maybe find a way to drop the little things. So many of us hold stupid little grudges about the tiniest little things. Find a way to forgive. You never know when something horrible like this could happen, and you don't want the last thing you said to a person to be the worst thing you've said.
Kyle obviously had some serious demons. I won't pretend to know why he did this. But I can be sure he is not the only person out there who feels like it. If anybody has ever wondered why I push people to get help, to talk about their problems, it's because this is usually the alternative. Demons always win. Please be there for anybody you can. Please try to help them, don't make it worse. I urge anybody with demons to get help. It doesn't have to be with a therapist, it can be with a friend. Talk to someone. Get it out there. Nobody should have to suffer alone.
*Edit: I'd like to make a point to make sure people remember this. When bad things happen, it changes people, for about three days. Then you forget about it, and move on. That shouldn't be the case. I'm not saying we should be depressed forever, as I know Kyle wouldn't want that, but we should not just brush it aside. Make a point to be there for whoever you can be.
This is going to be tough to get over. Kyle, you were a great person and a better friend. If you believe in it, I hope you are sitting in heaven, talking God's ear off. I can't thank you enough for everything you did. Not just for me, but for everyone, for STN, for FOX, and everyone you touched down here. You had such a bright future. I am going to miss you man, very much. You taught me about television, and so much more. Rest in peace, buddy.
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